Intellectual Enlightenment--engaging senior adults meaningfully

In Hawaii, people above the age of 60 are allowed to "audit" all courses in all publicly funded universities--- something that we should really be considering seriously for senior citizens. For those who are not familiar with the nomenclature of US universities, to "audit" means you can attend classes and listen and participate, but you will not be asked to do the "papers", and the professor will neither mark the papers nor give you a grade. It is intellectual enlightenment without the pressures of having to write papers to deadline and worry about the grades. Perfect for a sophisticated older gentlemen or lady-- what more can one ask for?

Another interesting bit of information was revealed from the professors who have taught such "audit" courses where many senior citizens were present. The presence of the senior citizens in the classroom changes the cultural dynamic of the course, especially during discussions, when the seniors with more experience and longer memories contribute. Whereas many of the young adults might have been only toddlers when the Berlin Wall fell, the seniors would have watched it on television. So it is not just the seniors but also the young students who benefit from the discussion cutting across generational lines. So everyone wins when 'diversity' comes in, particularly some of our know-it-all aggressive students.

As far as I know, no such schemes exist in Asian universities which cater mostly to those under 30 years old. As our population ages with more and more seniors, the educational institutions might have a vital role to play. The wealthy elite can benefit from courses on appreciating the opera or on "spirituality" or even join "light" physical activities such as yoga at the university gym. The elderly poor-- unfortunately the majority of the people fall into this category-- can be taught simple computer skills that will allow them, for example, to pay their electricity and phone bills online rather than by having to line up at the nearby post office.

Another area to be benefited from this is understanding the needs of the young and senior adults by one another, be it declining moral ethics or the pain of unemployment (as a result of competitive attitude). If enough seniors were hanging around classrooms and student canteens, and reasoning with the young students before problems exploded in the public domain, then, perhaps, we might have more enlightened campuses. And better understanding among both the young and old.

Why few child prodigies grow up to be geniuses

They learn to read at age two, play Bach at four, breeze through calculus at six, and speak foreign languages fluently by eight. Their classmates shudder with envy; their parents rejoice at winning the lottery. But, to paraphrase T.S. Eliot, their careers tend to end not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Consider the most prestigious award in the US for scientifically gifted high school students, the Westinghouse Science Talent Search, called the Super Bowl of science by one American president. From its inception in 1942 until 1994, the search recognised more than 2,000 precocious teenagers as finalists. But just 1 per cent ended up making the National Academy of Sciences, and just eight have won Nobel Prizes. For every Lisa Randall who revolutionises theoretical physics, there are many dozens who fall far short of their potential.

Child prodigies rarely become adult geniuses who change the world. We assume that they must lack the social and emotional skills to function in society. When you look at the evidence, though, this explanation doesn't suffice: Less than a quarter of gifted children suffer from social and emotional problems. A vast majority are well adjusted - as winning at a cocktail party as in the spelling bee.

What holds them back is that they don't learn to be original. They strive to earn the approval of their parents and the admiration of their teachers. But as they perform in Carnegie Hall and become chess champions, something unexpected happens: Practice makes perfect, but it doesn't make new.

The gifted learn to play magnificent Mozart melodies, but rarely compose original scores. They focus their energy on consuming existing scientific knowledge, not producing new insights. They conform to codified rules, rather than inventing their own. Research suggests the most creative children are the least likely to become the teacher's pet, and in response, many learn to keep their original ideas to themselves. In the language of the critic William Deresiewicz, they become the excellent sheep.

In adulthood, many prodigies become experts in their fields and leaders in their organisations. Yet "only a fraction of gifted children eventually become revolutionary adult creators", laments psychologist Ellen Winner. "Those who do must make a painful transition" to an adult who "ultimately remakes a domain". Most prodigies never make that leap. They apply their extraordinary abilities by shining in their jobs without making waves. They become doctors who heal their patients without fighting to fix the broken medical system, or lawyers who defend clients on unfair charges but do not try to transform the laws themselves.

So what does it take to raise a creative child? One study compared the families of children who were rated among the most creative 5 per cent in their school system with those who were not unusually creative. The parents of ordinary children had an average of six rules, like specific schedules for homework and bedtime. Parents of highly creative children had an average of fewer than one rule.

Creativity may be hard to nurture, but it's easy to thwart. By limiting rules, parents encouraged their children to think for themselves. They tended to "place emphasis on moral values, rather than on specific rules", Harvard psychologist Teresa Amabile reports.

When psychologist Benjamin Bloom led a study of the early roots of world-class musicians, artists, athletes and scientists, he learnt that their parents didn't dream of raising superstar kids. They weren't drill sergeants or slave drivers. They responded to the intrinsic motivation of their children. When their children showed interest and enthusiasm in a skill, the parents supported them.Even then, though, parents didn't shove their values down their children's throats. When psychologists compared the most creative architects in the US with a group of highly skilled but unoriginal peers, there was something unique about the parents of the creative architects: "Emphasis was placed on the development of one's own ethical code." Yes, parents encouraged their children to pursue excellence and success - but they also encouraged them to find "joy in work". Their children had freedom to sort out their own values and discover their own interests. And that set them up to flourish as creative adults.

Top concert pianists didn't have elite teachers from the time they could walk; their first lessons came from instructors who happened to live nearby and made learning fun. Mozart showed interest in music before taking lessons, not the other way around. Mary Lou Williams learnt to play the piano on her own; Itzhak Perlman began teaching himself the violin after being rejected from music school.

Even the best athletes didn't start out any better than their peers. When Bloom's team interviewed tennis players who were ranked in the top 10 in the world, they were not, to paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, doing push-ups since they were a foetus. Few of them faced intense pressure to perfect the game as Andre Agassi did. A majority of the tennis stars remembered one thing about their first coaches: They made tennis enjoyable.

Since Malcolm Gladwell popularised the "10,000-hour rule" suggesting that success depends on the time we spend in deliberate practice, debate has raged about how the number of hours necessary to become an expert varies by field and person. In arguing about that, we've overlooked two questions that matter just as much.

First, can't practice itself blind us to ways to improve our area of study? Research reveals that the more we practise, the more we become entrenched - trapped in familiar ways of thinking. Expert bridge players struggled more than novices to adapt when the rules were changed; expert accountants were worse than novices at applying a new tax law.

Second, what motivates people to practise a skill for thousands of hours? The most reliable answer is passion - discovered through natural curiosity or nurtured through early enjoyable experiences with an activity or many activities.

Evidence shows that creative contributions depend on the breadth, not just depth, of our knowledge and experience. In fashion, the most original collections come from directors who spend the most time working abroad. In science, winning a Nobel Prize is less about being a single-minded genius and more about being interested in many things. Relative to typical scientists, Nobel Prize winners are 22 times more likely to perform as actors, dancers or magicians; 12 times more likely to write poetry, plays or novels; seven times more likely to dabble in arts and crafts; and twice as likely to play an instrument or compose music.

No one is forcing these luminary scientists to get involved in artistic hobbies. It's a reflection of their curiosity. And sometimes, that curiosity leads them to flashes of insight. "The theory of relativity occurred to me by intuition, and music is the driving force behind this intuition," Albert Einstein reflected. His mother enrolled him in violin lessons when he was five, but he wasn't intrigued. His love of music only blossomed as a teenager, after he stopped taking lessons and stumbled upon Mozart's sonatas. "Love is a better teacher than a sense of duty," he said.

Hear that, Tiger Mums and Lombardi Dads? You can't programme a child to become creative. Try to engineer a certain kind of success, and the best you'll get is an ambitious robot. If you want your children to bring original ideas into the world, you need to let them pursue their passions, not yours.


(This article by Adam Grant appeared in The Straits Times on 7th Feb, 2016. Adam Grant is a professor of management and psychology at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, and author of Originals: How Non-Conformists Move The World)

Want to be happier? Start thinking more about death

Want a better 2016? Try thinking more about your impending demise.

Years ago, on a visit to Thailand, Arthur was surprised to learn that Buddhist monks often contemplate the photos of corpses in various stages of decay. The Buddha himself recommended corpse meditation. "This body, too", students were taught to say about their own bodies, "such is its nature, such is its future, such its unavoidable fate."

Paradoxically, this meditation on death is intended as a key to better living. It makes disciples aware of the transitory nature of their own physical lives and stimulates a realignment between momentary desires and existential goals. In other words, it makes one ask:"Am I making the right use of my scarce and precious life?"

In fact, most people suffer grave misalignment. In a 2004 article in the journal Science, a team of scholars, including the Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman, surveyed a group of women to compare how much satisfaction they derived from their daily activities. Among voluntary activities, we might expect that choices would roughly align with satisfaction. Not so. The women reported deriving more satisfaction from prayer, worship and meditation than from watching television. Yet the average respondent spent more than five times as long watching TV as engaging in spiritual activities.

If anything, this study understates the misalignment problem. The American Time Use Survey from the Bureau of Labour Statistics shows that , in 2014, The average US adult spent four times longer watching television than "socialising and communicating", and 20 times longer on TV than on "religious and spiritual activities". The survey did not ask about hours surfing the Web, but we can imagine a similar disparity.

This misalignment leads to regret. Millions have resolved to waste less time in 2016 and have already failed. I imagine some readers of this article are filled with self-loathing because they just wasted 10 minutes on an article titled "Celebrities With Terrible Skin".

Some might say that this reveals our true preferences for TV and clickbait over loved ones and God. But I believe it is an error in decision-making. Our days tend to be an exercise in distraction. We think about the past and future more than the present; we are mentally in one place and physically in another. Without consciousness, we mindlessly blow the present moment on low-value activities. The secret is not simply a resolution to stop wasting time, however. It is to find a systematic way to raise the scarcity of time to our consciousness.

Even if contemplating corpse is a bit too much, you can still practise some of the Buddha's wisdom resolving to live as if 2016 were your last year. Then remorselessly root out activities, small and large, that don't pass the "last-year test". There are many creative ways to practise this test. For example, if you plan a summer vacation, consider what would you do for a week or two if this were your last opportunity. With whom would you reconnect and spend some time? Would you settle your soul on a silent retreat, or instead, spend the time drunk somewhere?

If this year were your last, would you spend the next hour checking social media, or read something uplifting? Would you compose a nasty comment on this article, or use the time to call a friend to see how she is doing? Some might think that the last-year test is impractical. In a new paper in the science journal PLOS One, two psychologists looked at the present value of money when people contemplated death. One might assume that when reminded of death, people would greatly value current spending over future spending. But that's not how it turned out. Considering death actually made respondents less likely to want to blow money now than other scenarios did.

Will cultivating awareness of the scarcity of your time make you grim and serious? Not at all. In fact, there is some evidence that contemplating death makes you funnier. Two scholars in 2013 published an academic paper detailing research in which they subliminally primed people to think about either death or pain, and then asked them to caption cartoons. Outside raters found the death-primed participants' captions to be funnier.

There's still time to rethink your resolutions. Forget losing weight and saving money. Those are new Year's resolutions for amateurs. This year, improve your alignment, and maybe get funnier in the process: Be fully alive now by meditating on your demise. Happy 2016!


(Adapted from an article by Arthur C. Brooks in New York Times )

When busyness is the key social currency, lives become poorer

When I was small, we used to spend so much time playing hop scotch or five stones, or visiting neighbours and friends to spend time leisurely with them. Today, things are a bit more tricky. I tried to invite my best friend for day spend and I had to wait for a month! And that's pretty typical. There are after-school lessons to coordinate, piano lessons to attend, swimming sessions to juggle, parental time to take off so the kids are supervised as both parents work and don't reach home until 7 pm, etc.

I hate to get into "good old days" territory, because I'm sure that my own parents had their challenges coordinating fun for my siblings and me, but it does seem like there's something distinctly new going on. And it's not something we can blame completely on modern parenting and over-scheduled kids either-- because the culture of "busy" extends way past our children. When I see my friends, it's often after months of traded whatsapp messages and at least a few cancellations and trying again. And again.

My friends, colleagues and I seem to over-promise on what we can deliver in terms of socialising-- we make plans and hope for the best, but inevitably, something comes up and plans fall through. Though that's OK--when you are immersed in the culture of busy, someone cancelling dinner is sweet, sweet relief.

When I talk to my college students, the same sort of things happens. You ask students how they are doing and what they are interested in, and they will rattle off more than a list of courses. They are club presidents, playing sports, involved in volunteering, bringing a speaker in, all while planning a semester abroad. I have had more than a student tell me that they schedule their sleep as much as they do their activities, to ensure that they actually get some once in a while. My colleagues tell me that busyness has basically become social currency-- the most overworked and over-scheduled students are the ones who are seen as succeeding, even as they are miserable.

It sounds just terrible, but the truth is that I recognise that strange sense of pride, I see it in myself sometimes when making small talk. How am I? Oh, I'm great, but wow, I am ever busy! I am involved in that committee, this club, volunteering on weekends, etc., etc. It is an 'insecure society'-- I think, for a lot of people; if you are busy, if you are overworked, it must mean that you're important somehow. But how sad is it that the cultural signal for success is demonstrating "overwhelmed with activities"! It is as if admitting that if you have time to spare it makes you a slacker.

I long for a time when our happiness denies "success" at all cost. Until then, I have plenty to do!

The Art of War

Sun Tzu was a legendary military strategist in ancient China and he is the author of the famous book, “The Art of War”. He was a master of “soft power” and the father of “agile warfare.” Whenever possible, he preferred to win without fighting or, at the very least, to win the easiest battles first. He wrote, “In war, the way to win is to avoid what is strong and strike at what is weak.”

The teachings of Sun Tzu extend far beyond the field of battle because they are focused on finding the easiest way to achieve a specific goal. His approaches can be applied to everything from business growth and goal setting to weight loss and habit formation.

THE BOOK IN THREE SENTENCES

1. Know when to fight and when not to fight: avoid what is strong and strike at what is weak.

2. Know how to deceive the enemy: appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.

3. Know your strengths and weaknesses: if you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.

THE ART OF WAR SUMMARY

This is a list of key ideas including quotes from the book:
● “According as circumstances are favorable, one should modify one’s plans.”

● “All warfare is based on deception. Hence when able to attack we must seem unable. When using our forces we must seem inactive. When we are near we make the enemy believe we are far away. When far away we must make the enemy believe we are near.”

● “Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.”

● “If he is superior in strength, evade him.”

● “Attack him where he is unprepared. Appear where you are not expected.”

● “The general who loses a battle makes but few calculations beforehand.”

● “There is no instance of a country having benefitted from prolonged warfare.”

● “A wise general makes a point of foraging on the enemy. One cartload of the enemy’s provisions is equivalent to twenty of one’s own.”

● “Supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.”

● “The worst strategy of all is to besiege walled cities.”

● “There are five essentials for victory:
o He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.
o He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces.
o He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.
o He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.
o He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign.”

● “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself, but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

● “One may know how to conquer without being able to do it.”

● “In war, the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won.”

● “In battle, there are not more than two methods of attack: the direct and indirect.”

● “An army may march great distances without distress if it marches through country where the enemy is not.”

● “You can be sure in succeeding in your attacks if you only attack places which are undefended.”

● “Military tactics are like water. For water, in its natural course, runs away from high places and hastens downwards. So, in war, the way is to avoid what is strong and strike at what is weak.”

● “Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move fall like a thunderbolt.”

● “Ponder and deliberate before you make a move.”

● “A clever general, therefore, avoids an army when its spirit is keen, but attacks it when it is sluggish and inclined to return.”

● “It is a military axiom not to advance uphill against the enemy nor to oppose him when he comes downhill.”

● “The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy not coming, but on our readiness to receive him.”

● “Make your way by unexpected routes and attack unguarded spots.”

● “If they will face death, there is nothing they will not achieve.”

● “The principle on which to manage an army is to set up one standard of courage which all must reach.”

● “If it is to your advantage, make a forward move. If not, stay where you are."

(Short summary by James Clear)

Turn Your Life Around at Any Age

Things can change if you want them to, at any age. Life changes every single moment, and so can you. “Turning Life Around” is a sweeping, open-ended proposition. Here is a short list of five timeless principles and strategies worth working on, regardless of your age or what you decide to do with the rest of your life:

1. Focus a little less on the future, and a little more on the present.
Yes, it’s healthy to plan for the future, but not at the full expense of today. The truth is no matter how smart you are or how hard you try, you can’t accurately figure out the future. Even people who have a systematic plan (steps to be a doctor, steps to be a successful entrepreneur, etc.) don’t actually know what will happen down the road. And if they have any certainty at all, they’re a bit naive.

Life rarely goes as planned. For every person that succeeds in doing exactly what they set out to do in the exact time frame they set out to do it in, there are dozens of others who start strong and get derailed. And if this happens to you, it isn’t a bad thing. New obstacles and opportunities may come along to shift your perspective, to strengthen your resolve, or to change your direction for the better. The destination you fall in love with someday may not even exist today. For example, just a few short years ago the esteemed career paths of working at Google, Facebook and Twitter didn’t exist.

So if you can’t plan out your future in its entirety, what should you do? Focus a little less on the future and focus more on what you can do now that will benefit you no matter what the future brings. Read. Write. Learn and practice useful skills. Test your skills and ideas. Build things. Be adventurous and seek real-world experiences. Cultivate healthy relationships. These efforts will help in any future circumstances that come your way.

One of the best ways to begin with all of this, I think, is to build something small in your free time. Most people fritter their free time away on things that don’t matter, like TV, video games, social media, etc. A year of that and you have absolutely zero to show for it. But if you painted every day, or practiced your web design skills, or wrote on a blog, or spent more time networking with the right people… at the end of a year you’ll have built something. And you’ll have some great life experiences too – experiences you can point to and say, “I built that, and I learned this,” which, sadly, most people can’t do.

Also, it’s important to mention that although it may seem easier for younger people to do these things, it’s 100% possible for all of us to take small steps in the right direction, day in and day out, for the rest of our lives.

2. Focus more on the journey.
The most prolific and beneficial experience is not in achieving something you want, but in seeking it. It’s the journey towards an endless horizon that matters – goals that move forward with you as you chase them. It’s all about the pursuit and what you learn along the way – the “moving.”

The most important reason for moving from one place to another is to see what’s in between. In between is where passions are realized, love is found, strength is gained, and memories are made. You can’t get any of that without first-hand living. In other words, the right journey is the destination.

3. Do hard things.
If you want to stunt your growth and feel stuck in the same place forever, make excuses. If, on the other hand, you want to stop feeling trapped, do things that make you uncomfortable – things you aren’t very good at. There’s no excuse for remaining stuck. There’s no excuse for making the same exact mistakes over and over again. Life is too short. You’ve got to stretch your boundaries and break free.

One of the most important skills you can develop in life is being OK with some level of discomfort. Because the best things are often hard to come by, and if you shy away from difficulty and discomfort, you’ll miss out on them. Mastering a new skill is hard. Building a business is hard. Writing a book is hard. A marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Staying in shape is hard. All are amazing and worth every bit of effort you can muster.

How do you get good at this? Purposefully do things today that are uncomfortable, and start in small doses. Try exercising for ten minutes, even if it’s hard, and repeat this practice every day for a month before increasing your exercise duration by even the slightest margin. Try journaling or meditating every day for ten minutes. When you find yourself avoiding discomfort or procrastinating, push yourself just a little bit more, but don’t do more than ten minutes. It’s all about starting small and building a daily ritual that gradually strengthens your mind and body, and allows you to do hard things effortlessly in the long run.

4. Embrace uncertainty.
A related skill to “doing hard things” is thriving in uncertainty. Starting a business, for example, is a remarkable thing to do, but if you’re scared of uncertainty you’ll skip it. You can’t possibly know exactly how things will turn out, and so if you need to know how things will turn out, you’ll avoid life-changing opportunities, projects, career moves, relationships, etc.

But if you can be OK with not knowing, you’ll open yourself up to an endless pool of possibilities. But of course they won’t come easy…Sometimes you will not be able to see where you are going; every step will seem uncertain. But know that as long as you follow your intuition and take baby steps, your soul’s inner GPS will guide you home. You will find that you will be the right person, at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing on point. Trust your instincts. Relax. You know what to do. Living is about learning as you go.

And remember, living is risky business. Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a small risk. To truly live is to know you’re getting up and taking that risk, and to trust yourself to take it. To not get out of bed, clutching to illusions of safety, is to die slowly without ever having truly lived.

If you simply ignore your feelings and let uncertainty win, you will never know anything for sure, and in many ways this unknowing will be worse than finding out your hunch was wrong. Because if you were wrong, you could make adjustments and carry on with your life without ever looking back and wondering what might have been.

Bottom line: When you get good at handling discomfort and uncertainty, you can do all kinds of remarkable things that seem impossible now: travel the world and live frugally while blogging about it, write a book, start a small profitable business, relocate to a new city, learn to play a musical instrument, take a job with a start-up you admire, travel to “bucket list locations” with your family, and much more. All of these ideas can be achieved in a relatively short time, but you have to be OK with discomfort and uncertainty, and you have to start sooner rather than later.

5. Build and nurture quality relationships.
There are right people and wrong people for you. There are fake people and then there are those who are true friends and sincere companions on the path. There are people who take the heart out of you, and those who put it back. You have a choice of who to spend time with. True friends (personal or professional) have an honest heart and will go out of their way to help you when you need it most. Stick with the people who never let you down and keep their promises. You can’t fake that.

Truthfully, if your time and energy is misspent on the wrong relationships (personal or professional), or on too many activities that force you to neglect your good relationships, you can end up in a tedious cycle of fleeting friendships, superficial romances that are as thrilling as they are meaningless, and a general sense of wondering why you always seem to be running in place, chasing affection and admiration.

How do you build healthy, lasting personal and professional relationships? How do you find friends that lift you higher? How do you meet a significant other that belongs at your family reunions? Talk to lots of people every day, even if it feels uncomfortable. Bosses. Colleagues. Employees. Professors. Classmates. Social club members. Neighbors. Friends. Friends of friends. Everyone! Networking…

If you start building your network today, you’ll be set in the years ahead. Over time, you’ll continue talking to new people you meet through your current network and your network’s reach and the associated opportunities will continue to snowball for the duration of your life. Again, this may seem easier for young people, but it’s possible for all of us. It just takes effort.

The underlying key is to be trustworthy in your relationships. When someone gives someone an employment/business opportunity, the biggest fear is that this person is not trustworthy – that they’ll slack off and try to cheat the system. Someone who has established a positive reputation over the years will likely be more trusted, and more likely to be recommended. Learn to be trustworthy by being honest, admitting mistakes and fixing them, and generally going above and beyond the call of duty in your personal and professional relationships whenever you’re able. If you adhere to this, you’ll build a good reputation and people will appreciate and endorse you, which is the best way to get a job, a business investor, or another good friend.

If you follow the principles discussed above, you’ll be remarkable. You’ll be way, way ahead of most other people. And opportunities will gradually come your way: job opportunities, a chance to build something special with someone, an idea for a business that you can build yourself, a new skill to learn and grow from, etc. Of course, you can put all this off and take an easier, familiar path that keeps you hiking in circles…Or you can start down a new path today, turn your life around, and see what the rest of it has to offer you.

(Adopted from an article by Marc Chernoff)