Many times we feel depressed or a bit low as if we are not doing enough, more so as we grow older. One of my good friends was sharing her concern about her husband who had become quieter and seemed withdrawn since last year. He had now converted to working part-time, since his organization had downsized last year. She mentioned that although they had reconciled with his new arrangement, he would often feel depressed, as if lost in his thoughts. She was discussing with me how she could help him!
Her husband's situation reminds me of one of the case study I studied when I was doing my Diploma in Applied Psychology. In that case also, that person was still living in the past. You know, there is a difference between thinking about the past and living in it. It is natural for all of us to think about past occasionally, and learn lessons from that. But sometimes we end up living in the past because it is familiar, so we feel comfortable thinking about it and reliving it!
Then the question is how to help a person in such a situation? Psychologists suggest that if someone having such problem writes about his emotional experiences daily, whether old or new ones, it helps him put them in context and slowly leave them behind. Writing has been found to be so therapeutic that writing even once a week for a period of time about an upsetting experience reduces such negative thoughts.
After the person is able to come out of living in his past, he may start feeling regrets over what he did. But regrets can have their advantages too. For example, regrets can signal that it is time to change, time to take new action. In that sense they may serve as a motivator and propel the person to change his strategy on what he doing earlier, thus leading towards positive action.
Her husband's situation reminds me of one of the case study I studied when I was doing my Diploma in Applied Psychology. In that case also, that person was still living in the past. You know, there is a difference between thinking about the past and living in it. It is natural for all of us to think about past occasionally, and learn lessons from that. But sometimes we end up living in the past because it is familiar, so we feel comfortable thinking about it and reliving it!
Then the question is how to help a person in such a situation? Psychologists suggest that if someone having such problem writes about his emotional experiences daily, whether old or new ones, it helps him put them in context and slowly leave them behind. Writing has been found to be so therapeutic that writing even once a week for a period of time about an upsetting experience reduces such negative thoughts.
After the person is able to come out of living in his past, he may start feeling regrets over what he did. But regrets can have their advantages too. For example, regrets can signal that it is time to change, time to take new action. In that sense they may serve as a motivator and propel the person to change his strategy on what he doing earlier, thus leading towards positive action.
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