Monday 28 March 2016

New take on the Midlife crisis

The phrase 'midlife crisis' is the stage in the middle of the journey of life when people feel youth vanishing, their prospects narrowing and death approaching. So they start feeling anxious and nervous. But there's only one problem with the cliche. It isn't true.

"In fact, there is almost no hard evidence for midlife crisis at all, other than a few small pilot studies conducted decades ago," reporter Barbara Bradley Hagerty writes in her new book, Life Reimagined. The vast bulk of the research shows that there may be a pause, or a shifting of gears in the 40s or 50s, but this shift "can be exhilarating, rather than terrifying". Ms Bradley Hagerty looks at some of the features of people who turn midlife into a rebirth. They break routines, because "autopilot is death". They choose purpose over happiness - having a clear sense of purpose even reduces the risk of Alzheimer's. They put relationships at the foreground, as career often recedes.

Life Reimagined paints a portrait of middle age that is far from grim and decelerating. Midlife begins to seem like the second big phase of decision-making. According to the book, our identity has been formed; we know who we are; we've built up our resources; and now we have the chance to take the big risks precisely because our foundation is already secure.

The theologian Karl Barth described midlife in precisely this way. At middle age, he wrote: "The sowing is behind; now is the time to reap. The run has been taken; now is the time to leap. Preparation has been made; now is the time for the venture of the work itself." The middle-aged person, the late Barth continued, can see death in the distance, but moves with a "measured haste" to get big new things done while there is still time.

What Barth wrote decades ago is even truer today. People are healthy and energetic longer. Greater longevity is changing the narrative structure of life itself. People between age 20 and the early 30s can now take a little more time to try on new career options, new cities and new partners. Also, another profound change is the altered shape of middle age. What could have been considered the beginning of a descent is now a potential turning point - the turning point we are most equipped to take full advantage of. It is the moment when we can look back on our life so far and see it with different eyes. We begin to see how all our different commitments can be integrated into one meaning and purpose.

We might have enough clarity by now to orient our life around a true north on some ultimate horizon. Lincoln, for example, found in midlife that everything so far had prepared him to preserve the Union and end slavery. The rest of us don't have causes that grand, but plenty of people bring their life to a point. They dive fully into existing commitments, or embrace new ones.

Either way, with a little maturity, they're less likely by middle age to be blinded by ego, more likely to know what it is they actually desire, more likely to get out of their own way, and maybe a little less likely to care about what other people think. They get off that 'supervisor's perch' and put themselves in direct contact with the people they can help the most.

They achieve a kind of tranquility, not because they've decided to do nothing, but because they've achieved focus and purity of will. They have enough self-confidence to say no to some things, so that they can say yes to others. From this perspective, middle age is kind of inspiring. Many of life's possibilities are now closed, but the remaining possibilities can be seized more bravely, and lived more deeply.

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