Sunday 20 March 2016

What comes after the wedding matters more than the ceremony

Last week there was an article in The Straits Times, on how people getting married in Singapore are spending huge amounts of time and money on planning and having big banquets (whether dinners or lunches), many times stretching beyond their means in the name of 'one time affair'. I have seen this in my home country India also, where people can spend an obscene amount of money just to show off their status and wealth, which places an unsaid burden on other sections of society.

I had been thinking to pen down my thoughts when I came across a letter today written by a fellow reader echoing similar sentiments. The writer, Dr Patrick Liew writes that as a solemniser and counselor, he has seen that many couples spend more time preparing for the wedding than for what comes after it.These couples are often more excited about going for a honeymoon than about growing the values of a shared life. They are more focused on how to make a living than on how to enrich each other's life.

There is more time spent on pursuing quantity of possessions rather than quality of contributions. They plan for and are more prepared to handle life's pleasures rather than the pressures of building a healthy family and treasures that will last a lifetime. It serves to always remember that a house does not automatically become a home. A marriage does not naturally become a union for the greater good.

Marriage can be likened to developing a fruitful farm. Couples need to invest time and effort to nurture and strengthen their relationship. At the same time, they will have to balance the time they spend between looking at each other and looking ahead to serve a higher calling and worthier cause. Their commitment to a healthy marriage is not just made in a ceremony, but in the heart. It has to be made again and again to develop a meaningful, exciting and fulfilling relationship.

By investing wisely in the marriage, they will be rewarded with fruits of happiness, well-being and achievement.

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