The other day I was talking with Jeremy who was very confused about what course he should do in the university. He said that he was feeling anxious as he was not confident whether the choice he was making was good for him or not. I sat down with him, and asked him some open-ended questions about what he wanted to do after he graduated, what areas/subjects interested him, etc. After an hour or so, he looked visibly relaxed, though no decision was made yet. What caused that change in his confidence?
All of us have gone through this type of situation some time or the other, when we feel lost, confused with many choices/thoughts as we call them, and seem to have low confidence in ourselves. The problem lies not in our character, but in having lack of clarity on the issue at hand. As we go through the problem step by step, look at various options, and then list the do-able actions to be taken, half the battle is won. Then the first step/action is taken, which may be just to find more information on Google or to call a person to fix an appointment for the meeting. Followed by next action, and next... we start getting confidence as clarity starts dawning on the problem. I usually call it (in a form of equation),
Confidence = clarity on the problem/ clear instructions.
I have seen over a period of time, that when one is able to convert any new task or problem into clear instructions, he feels more confident and better equipped to handle the situation. This is because our mind needs clear, bite-sized instructions to follow, rather than fuzzy thinking repeatedly. So next time when you are feeling low on confidence, sit down for a while, think what is the problem, convert it into clear action points or instructions, and take the initiative to do the first step immediately. You will be amazed at your own work!
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